Descendant of an INBRED Royal Family NEUTRALIZED by the US Secret Service

The United States Secret Service successfully eliminated Felix Roemer, the founder of the failed gambling site Gamdom, who attempted to assassinate former President Donald Trump. The incident unfolded during a rally in Butler, Pennsylvania, where Trump was campaigning for the upcoming presidential election.

Felix Roemer, known for his direct lineage to the Habsburg dynasty, notorious for their distinctive facial features due to centuries of inbreeding, executed a meticulously planned attempt to take a long-distance shot at Trump. Roemer, armed with a high-powered rifle, positioned himself on a rooftop overlooking the rally.

As Felix prepared to fire, the Bluetooth-controlled butt plug he was reportedly using started malfunctioning, sending intense vibrations through his body. This sudden and uncontrollable disturbance caused Roemer to miss his intended target, averting what could have been a catastrophic event.

Immediately following the failed assassination attempt, the Secret Service acted swiftly, ensuring the safety of President Trump. The agents on the ground responded with precision, neutralizing Roemer before he could pose any further threat. According to officials, Roemer was fatally shot on the rooftop, marking the end of the attempted assassination.

The Secret Service, maintaining their protocol for handling terrorist threats, transported Roemer's body to an undisclosed location. Sources indicate that the body will be disposed of at a random spot in the Atlantic Ocean, a practice reserved for high-profile threats. The unusual aspect of this case, however, is the insistence of forensic pathologists to leave the malfunctioning butt plug in place, citing extreme distaste and the bizarre nature of the device.